Info Post: 'Friending' and Comments Policy.
Yes, this is the internet. However, this is my little corner of the internet. And I have some ground rules. Also, if we know eachother outside of teh internets, and you think our friendship means that you'll get away with something? You obviously don't know me well enough. Because there's pretty much only one person who's likely to get away with stuff in practicality, and he knows me well enough to know not to do it.
'Friending' Policy
1. My friendslist is as much, or more of, a reading list as it is to be considered some line delineating who I consider friends and not-friends. I tend to assume there's no drama when someone defriends me unless I'm alerted to the drama by other means, and would appreciate others doing the same.
1a. Incidentally, I don't expect to see *ist (racist/sexist/classist/etc) speech/imagery/behaviour from the people on my friendslist. What you do with your journal is your business, and if I know you reasonably well I'm likely to call on it because I'd like to think you care about whether or not you're doing something that might come across as offensive. If not, I'm not obligated to witness it. If you take that to mean I think you're a horrible person who should die, that's up to you, but really, it's not. It's about what I want to see.
2. I don't mind who friends me. I do like for you to say a quick 'hi' if you friend me, particularly if you'd like for me to friend you back. If you don't feel comfortable randomly commenting on an entry, there's a specific intro post here. I don't automatically add back, and if you've commented and I haven't added you back within a couple of weeks, I'm not likely to do so. If I don't, it's up to you to keep me on your friendslist or not. See previous point.
2. I tend not to post friends-only very often. I do have a couple of posting filters, but they're pretty much for specific people (like the boy, because not everyone needs or probably wants to see all of that), or wangsty brain-dumping. Honestly? You're not missing much.
3. If your journal generally consists of constant streams of un-lj-cut images, you probably won't make the friendslist, or, if your images are of interest to me and/or I want you to have access to friends-only/filtered entries, you'll be shifted to one of my non-default filters. These filters do get read, it just means that if I'm somewhere not amenable to the loading of an image-heavy friendspage, I can still read other friendspage entries, and I'll get to the more image-heavy stuff when it's more appropriate.
4. Uncut imagery that annoys me will result in a temporary defriending, until enough time has passed that it's off the first few pages of my friendslist. Complaining about the above will probably result in your defriending being permanent rather than temporary.
Comments Policy
1. Trolling will invariably result in a kickban, though if I'm in a particular mood, I may bat your ideas around like a ball of yarn for my own and others' amusement.
2. Anonymous comments are automatically screened. For those who tend to forget to log in on occasion, your comments will be unscreened if it's obvious who it is and you haven't already deleted and reposted the comment.
3. Respect for persons is required (possible exceptions for obvious trolls). Generally, though, I expect you to show a certain level of respect towards me and anyone else in the comment threads. This includes:
a) Refraining from name-calling. There are certain exceptions to this rule, since a few of you know each other quite well, and will make jokes that involve name-calling. This is fine. However, if the person your name-calling is directed at takes offense, and says so, acknowledge that and apologise for it, and think about that in terms of your future discussions. Don't be an asshat and dismiss their offense. This includes me, by the way. If you're upset by something I say, tell me.
b) Refraining from discriminatory language. If I pick up on this, I'll bring your attention to it. Usually, I'll acknowledge that you didn't intend to be discriminatory or offensive (unless it's obvious you did, in which case I'll probably tell you to stop trolling), but that doesn't make it okay. Don't do it again. Again, if you see me doing this, call me on it. We all slip, now and then, and I expect people to call me on questionable language use when I fall into the trap of using it. We all have those sorts of habits to break.
c) Respectful debating tactics. Attacking arguments not people, all of that stuff.
d) Being aware of tone. Tone is difficult on the internet; I think we're all aware of that. The best way to combat this is through word choice and language use, and being aware of how people react to what you say. If people indicate that they feel you're being condescending, dismissive or whatever, listen to them. I'm not saying they're always 100% right, but don't assume they're 100% wrong, either. If your jokes are often misconstrued, it might be a good idea to avoid them, because it may well be that your delivery is flawed. Accusing other people of having no sense of humour won't change that; it just makes you look like an asshat.
4. If I make a post about behaviour that pisses me off? Don't engage in that behaviour in the comments. That's pretty much a one way ticket to having your ass kicked.
5. For those coming here from other blogs I guest-post or comment on, leave shit from other places at those other places. If I've disengaged from discussion with you there, or if you're just being a cranky-three-year-old because you're being comment-modded, there's probably a reason, but if you really have some compulsion to talk at me some more, e-mail me. Don't randomly comment here and expect me to behave in a respectful manner.
I'm not going to be some draconian crazy, but obviously displayed non-compliance with the comments policy will result in no cookies for you. And probably a kickban.
At the end of the day, I expect people to think about what they're saying in my journal. Because this is, ultimately, my space. And I don't think it's unreasonable for me to make that space friendly for all of the people who interact within it.
For everyone else, there are cookies.
Last updated 28 January, 2007
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arielladrake) wrote,
